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written by admin \\ tags: Life, Products, Therapy

“…If you compare yourself to others
you may become vain and bitter
for always, there will be greater and
lesser person than your self…”—Desiderata

There is one practice that causes us to be obsessed with our limitations; the tendency to compare ourselves with others. Oftentimes we feel despondent because there are other people who are above us or better than us. There is probably no other habit that chips away at our self-confidence so effectively as that habit of scanning the people around us to see how we compare. Even if we have planned well and made us sure that our outputs are of excellence, we still look around and compare our performance with that of others. It is as if we have radar on our forehead, constantly searching to see if someone else is quicker, tanner or brighter.  And when we find that at times someone is, we are devastated.

The folly basing our self-esteem and self-worth on comparisons is that it puts us on a roller coaster. Perhaps we are feeling fairly good about our appearance one day, and we find ourselves in the company of someone with stunningly good looks. Suddenly we feel ugly and want to disappear. Or perhaps we know we have above average intelligence, but we happen to be at lunch with people who are even smarter. Then every word that comes out of mouths sound like intellectual sludge.

Some of us grew up with older brothers and sisters whom we desperately wanted to emulate, but of course we were domed from the start. For no matter how hard we tried to catch up, we found ourselves smaller, clumsier and dumber than they were. And when they reticulate us-all other siblings do-we learned to criticize ourselves. In many cases this became a life-long habit.

But we must take into consideration that we are absolutely unique. We are greatly different from each other. We have our own peculiar talents and we perform at different levels of expertise. We are the product of 23 chromosomes from our mothers and 23 chromosomes from our fathers, and geneticist say that the odds of our parents having another child like us are one in 10 raised to 2 billion. The combination of attitudes that constitute us will never be duplicated. If we believe this and the idea that we are created by God-an original by a master artist- then we will be proud of our uniqueness and try to make this uniqueness even better than it is.

To do this, we have to discover what our unique talents are. While we try to develop this potential we should also realize that we all cannot be at the top- we cannot be the world’s foremost poet, pianist or writer, but our core values will not be diminished by people who are more talented or accomplished than we are. Nor is it heightened when we find ourselves with people who are less accomplished. The Bible teaches us that we have worth quite apart the existence of any other person. We must accept the fact that we have imperfections. I am not saying that we are all innocent beauty within, if people would just let us express ourselves. It is a sign of health to be able to accept the negative aspects of ourselves and to look squarely on our shadow sides. Start tapping your capacities not because you want to be the best but because that is your purpose in the world. Remember you were created to be something. Don’t ask “why weren’t you Albert Einstein?”, or “Why aren’t you become Shakespeare?” But ask yourself.

…..”Why aren’t you, the original you?”…..!

…we all cannot be at the top- we cannot be the world’s foremost poet, pianist or writer, but our core values will not be diminished by people who are more talented or accomplished than we are. Nor is it heightened when we find ourselves with people who are less accomplished….

 

 

written by admin \\ tags: Life, Proverbs